Macklemore & Ryan Lewis - Can't Hold Us (Live on KEXP) (+playlist)

Ανακαλύψτε το υπέροχο ισλανδικό συγκρότημα Of Monsters and Men

TALLEST MAN ON EARTH // the dreamer

For some reason it feels like its not a snapshot but a really really really slow motion video
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Ο Χιώτης είναι ο καλύτερος κιθαρίστας στον κόσμο

Κανένας δεν έπαιζε καλύτερα μπουζούκι από αυτόν, ακόμη και σήμερα τα τραγούδια και οι ερμηνείες του Τζίμι Χέντριξ αγαπιούνται και ακούγονται φανατικά. Ομως, Χιώτη λάτρευε να ακούει και ο μύθος της ροκ Τζίμι Χέντριξ που παραδεχόταν πως ο Ελληνας μουσικός είναι καλύτερος από αυτόν.

Αυτό είναι το τραγούδι που χορεύει όλη η Μύκονος!

Η επιτυχία του Διονύση Σχοινά «Μύκονος» έχει κάνει το νησί να χορεύει!

Το τραγούδι έγραψε ο Κώστας Μηλιωτάκης, ο Δημήτρης Τσάφας (στίχοι), ενώ ο Κώστας Λαϊνάς έκανε την ενορχήστρωση.

Ο τραγουδιστής περπατά στα σοκάκια του νησιού και ατενίζει τη θάλασσα, δίνοντάς μας λίγο... κυκλαδίτικο αέρα!

Τέλος καλό, όλα καλά: Οι Rolling Stones κατέκτησαν και το Glastonbury

Μετά από 43 χρόνια πορείας, το Glastonbury Festival φιλοξένησε για πρώτη φορά τους Rolling Stones. Οι δεκάδες χιλιάδες fans της μπάντας ήταν πανέτοιμοι γι' αυτό το ιστορικό ραντεβού.

Νέο άκρως καλοκαιρινό video clip για Tus, Δείξιμο και Σπανού..!!!!!!

Hipnosedon: Νέο video clip, για Tus, Δείξιμο και Σπανού!

Με τον Tus να κάνει την επέλασή του πάνω σε θαλάσσιο scooter, αρχίζει το καινούργιο καλοκαιρινό video clip, για το τραγούδι "Hipnosedon"!

-Τη μουσική έχει γράψει ο Jason Jazzmind και τους στίχους οι Tus και Γιάννης Μαραγκός.

Κάντε κλικ και απολαύστε ένα πραγματικά τρελό video clip!  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=SPjREyGZTgg#at=16

Πηγή: MUSIC.NET.CY

Ο Γιώργος


Ο Γιώργος Ρωμαίος είναι η καινούργια προσφορά της Κρήτης στην Ελληνική δισκογραφία. 

Απόφοιτος και κάτοχος bachelor’s και master’s degree του Πανεπιστήμιου Kρήτης στα οικονομικά και με μεταπτυχιακές σπουδές στην επιχειρηματική και επιχειρησιακή στρατηγική, θα μπορούσε λόγω εμφάνισης να οργώνει τις διεθνείς πασαρέλες της μόδας, αλλά επέλεξε την μουσική και τα οικονομικά.

Μετά από 6 χρόνια στο πανεπιστήμιο και 15 συνολικά χρόνια σπουδών σε πιάνο και θεωρίας μουσικής, ο Γιώργος Ρωμαίος είναι έτοιμος να μαγέψει, με την ζεστή αντρική χροιά της φωνής του και την άψογη τεχνική ενός φτασμένου ερμηνευτή! 

Καλή Ακρόαση!!!!!!!!

Γιώργος Ρωμαίος: Με τελείωσες (Pantazo Remix)

6 απλοί τρόποι για να περνάς καλά!!!!!

Ποια ήταν η τελευταία φορά που γέλασες αυθόρμητα; Πόσο συχνά επιτρέπεις στον εαυτό σου να χαλαρώνει και να τεμπελιάζει; Αν δεν μπορείς να θυμηθείς πότε ήσουν πραγματικά χαρούμενη, μάλλον έχεις συνδέσει την ευτυχία με λάθος πράγματα. Βρες τους τρόπους να ανακτήσεις τη χαμένη σου χαρά.

Έχεις παρατηρήσει πόσο θετικά σχολιάζουμε όλοι τους χαμογελαστούς και θετικούς ανθρώπους; Ένας συνάδελφος, μια πωλήτρια σε κατάστημα, ένας φίλος, ένας άγνωστος στη στάση του μετρό μας φτιάχνει τη διάθεση. Το χαμόγελο και η χαρούμενη όψη αφήνουν πάντα τις καλύτερες εντυπώσεις. Μήπως όμως τα χαρούμενα πρόσωπα τείνουν να γίνουν είδος προς εξαφάνιση; Κάθε μέρα που περνάει ξεχνάμε την έννοια του «διασκεδάζω» και του «περνάω καλά». Έχουμε καταπιέσει τον εαυτό μας σε τέτοιο βαθμό, που, ακόμη κι όταν βρίσκουμε το χρόνο να χαλαρώσουμε, αισθανόμαστε τύψεις και ενοχές.

Η γνώμη των ειδικών 

Οι ψυχολόγοι υποστηρίζουν ότι συνήθως οι πιο ευτυχείς και ικανοποιημένοι με τη ζωή τους είναι εκείνοι που έχουν την ικανότητα να βλέπουν ακόμη και τα πιο μικρά και καθημερινά πράγματα με ενθουσιασμό. Το γεγονός ότι χάνουμε την ικανότητα να δίνουμε προσοχή και να χαιρόμαστε με τα απλά πράγματα οφείλεται σε σημαντικό βαθμό στο άγχος και στις πιέσεις της ενήλικης ζωής. Όταν γυρνάμε σπίτι κουρασμένες και εκνευρισμένες μετά από 10 ώρες δουλειά, δεν έχουμε διάθεση να απολαύσουμε το ηλιοβασίλεμα μέσα από τον καθρέπτη του αυτοκινήτου. Αν όμως αφεθούμε και το δοκιμάσουμε, είναι σίγουρο πως το θέαμα θα μας αποζημιώσει. Οι ψυχολόγοι, μάλιστα, λένε πως έχουμε την τάση να ξαναβρίσκουμε την ικανότητα αυτή όταν είμαστε ερωτευμένες ή όταν βιώνουμε μια εντελώς νέα εμπειρία.

6 τρόποι για να περάσεις καλά

 - Πήγαινε για χορό. Θα εκτονωθείς με ευχάριστο τρόπο από την πίεση της εβδομάδας. Δεν είναι ανάγκη να είσαι ο Φρεντ Αστέρ για να διασκεδάσεις χορεύοντας με τους φίλους σου.

 - Μάθε ένα μουσικό όργανο.Κιθάρα, πιάνο, ντραμς, σαντούρι ή ότι άλλο επιθυμούσες από μικρή να μάθεις και δεν το έκανες ποτέ. Θα περάσεις όμορφα κατά τη διαδικασία, ανεξάρτητα από το αποτέλεσμα....

 - Μάζεψε φίλους στο σπίτι. Μπορείς να καθιερώσεις ένα βράδυ την εβδομάδα ως night with friends, να βλέπετε όλοι μαζί ταινίες ή να παίζετε παιχνίδια. Ποιος είπε πως μόνο τα παιδιά έχουν δικαίωμα στο παιχνίδι;

 - Φτιάξε έναν κήπο. Είτε διαθέτεις κήπο είτε ένα μικρό μπαλκόνι, μπορείς να το μετατρέψεις σε μια μικρή όαση. Θα μπορείς να χαλαρώνεις κάθε απόγευμα στον προσωπικό σου παράδεισο. 

 - Βγες μια βόλτα. Μια απλή βόλτα με το αυτοκίνητο, με το ποδήλατο ή με τα πόδια μπορεί να σου φτιάξει τη διάθεση και να ανανεώσει τις εικόνες σου.

  - Κάνε γυμναστική. Η γυμναστική κάνει καλό όχι μόνο στο σώμα, αλλά και στην ψυχική υγεία. Χαρίζει ευεξία και όμορφη σιλουέτα -γεγονός που σου ανεβάζει ακόμη περισσότερο την ψυχολογία, ενώ σε ηρεμεί από το άγχος της ημέρας.

Πηγή: www.tsixlofoyska.gr

Ballad of Solar

Η ιστορία του Ballad of Solar εξελίσσεται σε μία φανταστική χώρα που κυριαρχείται από το κακό.

Καλείστε λοιπόν να πάρετε τη θέση του υπερήρωα Solar για να σώσετε τη χώρα, να σταματήσετε τις σκοτεινές δυνάμεις του μάγου Grogan και να απελευθερώσετε τη Lumina. Με τη βοήθεια των φίλων σας, έχετε τη δυνατότητα να ανοικοδομήσετε κατεστραμμένες πόλεις και να ολοκληρώσετε συναρπαστικές αποστολές.

Αφού δείτε το παιχνίδι στο παρακάτω video, κάντε click εδώ για να κατεβάσετε το παιχνίδι εντελώς δωρεάν (το παιχνίδι κατεβαίνει αμέσως με το που πατάτε τον σύνδεσμο):

Το τέλος μιας εποχής: Ο Τόνι Σοπράνο βλέπει μαύρο

Ο ξαφνικός, πρόωρος χαμός του Τζέιμς Γκαντολφίνι, ο διαρκής θάνατος του Τόνι Σοπράνο και ένας επίλογος για τη Χρυσή Εποχή της τηλεόρασης (Pics)

Paroles de Formidable de Stromae

[Refrain]
Formidable, formidable
Tu étais formidable, j'étais fort minable
Nous étions formidables
Formidable
Tu étais formidable, j'étais fort minable
Nous étions formidables

Eh bébé, oups : mademoiselle
Je veux pas vous draguer, promis, juré
Je suis célibataire, depuis hier, putain !
Je peux pas faire d'enfant, et bon c'est pas... eh revient !
5 minutes quoi je t'ai pas insulté, je suis poli, courtois
Et un peu fort bourré mais pour les mecs comme moi
Vous avez autre chose à faire, vous m'auriez vu hier
Où j'étais...

[Refrain]

Eh tu t'es regardé, tu te crois beau
Parce que tu t'es marié,
Mais c'est qu'un anneau mec, t'emballe pas,
Elle va te larguer comme elles le font chaque fois
Et puis l'autre fille tu lui en as parlé ?
Si tu veux je lui dis comme ça c'est réglé
Et au petit aussi, enfin si vous en avez
Attends 3 ans, 7 ans et là vous verrez
Si c'est...

[Refrain]

Eh petite ! oh pardon : petit !
Tu sais dans la vie y a ni méchant ni gentil
Si maman est chiante c'est qu'elle a peur d'être mamie
Si papa trompe maman c'est parce que maman vieillit
Pourquoi t'es tout rouge ? Bah reviens gamin
Et qu'est-ce que vous avez tous à me regarder comme un singe, vous
Ah oui vous êtes saint vous
Bande de macaques !
Donnez-moi un bébé singe, il sera...

[Refrain]

Το "O.C." είναι η απόλυτη καλοκαιρινή σειρά

Κάποιοι από εμάς δε μπορούν να αντισταθούν στην ιδέα του να ξαναδούν αυτή τη σειρά κάθε φορά που μπαίνει καλοκαίρι.

Τέσσερις έφηβοι, μερικοί από τους γονείς τους, φοβερή μουσική κι ένα πολύ ηλιόλουστο σκηνικό. Αυτά είναι τα συστατικά του "O.C.", μιας σειρά που έλαμψε πολύ, για λίγο, κράτησε 4 άνισες σεζόν, αλλά όταν ήταν καλό, ήταν πολύ καλό. Ένα από τα καλύτερα teen dramas που έχουν εμφανιστεί ποτέ, δεν υπήρξε ιστορία που να ντραπεί να κυνηγήσει, δεν υπήρχε επεισόδιο που να μην οδηγήσει τη δράση σε πάρτι με ξύλο και αλκοόλ, δεν υπήρξε στιγμή που ένιωσες τίποτα άλλο παρά αγνή καλοκαιρινή διάθεση.

Δέκα παράξενες λέξεις που εκφράζουν τρυφερότητα!

Σε πολλές χώρες οι λέξεις «αγάπη», «άγγελε», «μωρό μου» και «γλυκέ/γλυκιά μου» χρησιμοποιούνται για να δηλώσουν την τρυφερότητα ενός ατόμου προς τον αγαπημένο/ την αγαπημένη του. Πώς θα νιώθατε όμως εάν ο αγαπημένος/η αγαπημένη σας σάς αποκαλούσε «λαχανάκι», «αυγό με μάτια» ή «ψύλλο»; Το BBC βρήκε τους δέκα πιο παράξενους όρους αγάπης σε ολόκληρο τον κόσμο.

Petit chou – λαχανάκι: Χρησιμοποιείται στη Γαλλία και είναι αντίστοιχο του «γλυκός/γλυκιά». Θυμίζει κάτι μικρό και στρογγυλό, γεγονός που τους Γάλλους μάλλον τους παραπέμπει σε κάτι… αγαπησιάρικο. Μπορεί να χρησιμοποιηθεί και διπλό: «chouchou».

Chuchuzinho – κολοκύθα: Στην Βραζιλία και την Πορτογαλία είναι μάλλον συνηθισμένο για κάποιον να αποκαλεί το αγαπημένο του πρόσωπο «κολοκυθάκι». Η κατάληξη «-άκι» αποτελεί ένδειξη τρυφερότητας.

Tamago kato no kao – αυγό με μάτια: Στην Ιαπωνία συχνά οι

Top 10 Easy Piano Pieces That Sound Great

Hopefully no one is coming to this looking for something they can sit down and play brilliantly in one sitting. There is no such thing as a great-sounding piano piece that can be learnt in seconds, but these are some of the simpler ones, that, if mastered, could convince everyone you’re a true pianist. Bear in mind though, the key to this, like anything, is practice. If you want something to sound good, you have to be prepared to work on it, but these are the top ten pieces, in my opinion, that sound amazing, and can be performed with not too much difficulty on your behalf. If you disagree with any of these, by all means, give your opinion in the comments.

10

Etude Op. 10 – 12

“Revolutionary Etude” – Chopin

This is far and away the most difficult piece on this list, and I’m sure there’ll be lots of criticism about the level of this piece, but when you really break it down, it’s based on quite simple arpeggios and very repetitive hand movements. The right hand theme is also relatively simple, presenting only a small challenge to someone with a particularly small hand. Chopin’s music wasn’t about creating technical difficulties for the pianist (that’s more Liszt’s field of work, some reasoned that Liszt was the world’s first three-handed pianist), but about creating flourishes and runs that are based upon the basics of piano playing. The hardest part of this piece by far is the speed factor, but even played slowly, this is sure to blow everyone away, if you have the discipline to learn it as a slow piece, and avoid the temptation of running away with it.

9

Bagatelle in A Minor, Op. 59 – “Fur Elise”

Beethoven

While not one of my favorite pieces, this constantly crops up time and time again amongst lists of the all-time classics of piano. One thing everyone seems to always overlook though, it’s dead easy! If played at a moderate speed, there are no excessively challenging passages in the entire piece. There are some slightly tricky runs in the last half, but nothing that can’t be done without a little bit of practice. This is a must-have on any dinner party list, and given how well-known it is, people will immediately recognize this piece.

8

Concord Sonata – “The Alcotts”

Charles Ives

This is one I taught myself to play – and I am not a great pianist. Some of the stretches are wide – so wide hands are helpful, but it is actually a very simple piece. It manages to sound more complex than it is through unusual harmonies but it is well worth the go. You might notice that the theme Ives uses here is the same as Beethoven’s 5th symphony – Ives is well known for his use of pastiche in his writing. The end is particularly cool.

7

In a Landscape

John Cage

If you are familiar at all with John Cage, you will be very surprised by this piece. Cage is well known for his 4’33 in which the musician does not make a sound (the music is the ambient noise). He is also known for extremely jarring and dissonant music. This item, however, is quite the opposite – it is a beautiful slow melodic piece that you can’t help but love. It also uses the sustain pedal throughout (without lifting your foot) so you can concentrate on the fingerwork not the footwork.

6

Gymnopédie No.1

Erik Satie

This piece has been used countless times in advertising and it is no wonder – it is a beautiful piece of music by one of France’s most talented composers. This set of three pieces (number 1 is the one we have here) are considered to be precursors to the modern ambient music movement. Satie himself referred to much of his music as “furniture music” – implying that it should be background music.

Clair de Lune

Debussy

A relatively slow piece, and yet another very popular piece, this song will forever remain remarkable to your audience if you can pull it off. Debussy’s slightly irregular harmonies combine in this piece to a gentle consonance, that creates a gentle, flowing image. The only tricky thing in this is to avoid heaviness, and maintain fluidity throughout. This will without a doubt be one of your most impressive pieces if executed correctly.

4

The Heart Asks For Pleasure First

Michael Nyman

One of the masterworks from the film “The Piano” Michael Nyman’s piece draws together arpeggios and a simple melody to create a haunting, echoing theme that lasts for long after the piece is finished. While not a mainstream piece, this small gem is an astounding portrayal of emotion through music. The simple melody, interspersed with the accompaniment, is simply beautiful. I’ve chosen a rather different video than usual, because this shows the emotional side of the piece much more succinctly than a performance video.

3

Ah! Vous Dirai-Je, Maman

“Variations on Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” – Mozart

Everyone will know the opening of this piece, it’s one of the most famous pieces of all time (it’s the alphabet song for god sake’s!) but few people know the entire thing. Mozart adapted the theme of a well known French folk song into 12 different variations, each of which focus on a different aspect of the piano. When played in it’s entirety, it is a stunning piece. It’s especially good for confusing people who don’t know what you’re playing, because when you start off, they expect something a whole lot different to where you end up. I promise you, this piece is not too difficult, but it will sound amazing if treated right. And for added benefit, here’s a video of a 7 year old playing it.

2

Comptine D’un Autre été, L’Après-midi

Yann Tiersen

One of the most beautiful pieces of film music in years, from the French film Amelie, Yann Tiersen weaves simple melodies and accompaniments to create a gradually building, yet wholly simplistic melody. This piece is technically very simple, but it takes a certain emotional maturity to play it as more than just notes. This may well prove to be one of the more challenging on the list, simply because there is a tendency to play it too fast, or too heavily, which will utterly destroy the piece. If perfected, this will be one of the most emotional pieces in your repertoire, I know many people who have actually been driven to tears by this piece. This animation is a perfect summary of the piece.

1

Piano Sonata No. 14 in C-Sharp Minor

“Moonlight Sonata” – Beethoven

There is no doubt (in my mind at least) that this belongs on the top spot. This is a remarkably simple piece that is potentially among the most recognized pieces of all time, and remains one of the favorite piano pieces ever written. Nothing needs to be said, just listen. [JFrater: if you like this, expand your knowledge of the piece by listening to the awesome second movement here. And for completion, here is the virtuosic talent of Glenn Gould playing the incredible third movement.]

http://listverse.com

ΠΑΝΤΕΛΗΣ ΠΑΝΤΕΛΙΔΗΣ - ΠΑΡΑΜΥΘΙΑΖΟΜΑΙ (CD RIP - NO SPOTS) (11/2012) NEW SINGLE, FULL-NO SPOTS

Αrtist: Παντελής Παντελίδης
Τitle: Παραμυθιάζομαι
Genre: Modern Greek
Tracks: 01
Type: .mp3
Birate: 320 kbps
Size: 7.6 mb
Time: 3:21 min.



Αναμφίβολα ο πιο συζητημένος καλλιτέχνης της φετινής χρονιάς είναι ο Παντελής Παντελίδης!

Μετά την τεράστια επιτυχία του "Δεν ταιριάζουμε σου λέω", ετοιμαστείτε να "Παραμυθιαστείτε" με το νέο του τραγούδι!

Το βίντεο που σαρώνει: Ζωγραφίζοντας την Αθήνα σε 2 λεπτά!

Ένας φοιτητής της Σχολής Καλών Τεχνών της Αθήνας ζωγραφίζει με το πενάκι του την Αθήνα καταγράφοντας τη διαδικασία σε video!

Ο Παντελής Τρομπούκης είναι ο καλλιτέχνης που είχε την ιδέα για το Athensketch.

Όπως λέει στην Athens Voice:

«Αποφάσισα να απομονώσω ένα τμήμα της Αθήνας και να πειραματιστώ πάνω του. Αφορμή ήταν και μια άσκηση της σχολής, και εδώ θέλω να επισημάνω τα σημαντικά ερεθίσματα που μας δίνει η σχολή Καλών Τεχνών για ένα βήμα παραπάνω στους τρόπους έκφρασής μας. Για το τελικό αποτέλεσμα της προοπτικής πρόσθεσα και κάποιες δικές μου εικόνες από τις γωνίες της Αθήνας.»

Δείτε το βίντεο:

6 Ridiculous Myths About the Middle Ages Everyone Believes

When you think of the Middle Ages, chances are you picture gallant knights sitting astride brilliant destriers galloping through a sea of plagues, ignorance, and filth. And you can hardly be blamed for that, when everything from the movies you watch to your high school history teacher (who was mainly the football coach) has told you that ...

#6. Scientific Progress Was Dead

Getty

The Myth:

They call it the Dark Ages for a reason. Any scientist who dared to actually study the universe would be shut down by the Catholic church, which thought all that bullshit was immoral and that the Bible was all the learnin' anybody could possibly need. They even thought the Earth was flat, for crying out loud.

Getty
"No, we can't cross the ocean there, don't you see that sea monster in the way?"

The Reality:

Aside from the fact that, as we've already explained, most people in the Middle Ages did not think the Earth was flat, the church wasn't responsible for killing science -- to the contrary, it was largely responsible for saving it.

After the barbarians invaded Europe and Rome went the way of the dinosaurs, the Catholic church was the last remaining aspect of Roman culture in Western Europe. The church went about setting up monasteries across Europe, and along with the monks came the monks' massive libraries. Monks were just about the only educated people in the early Middle Ages, and pretty much everything we know about this entire time period was written by them.

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"Look, the monks' scroll clearly says that all monks had 12-inch dongs, so it must be true."

As time went on, the church stepped it up a notch and started establishing universities to foster the preservation of knowledge. You may have heard of a few of them: Oxford, Cambridge, and the University of Paris (not to mention pretty much every other top school in Europe). At these universities, students studied more than most college kids do today, with an average bachelor's degree taking up to seven years to earn, and a master's or doctorate taking several more. The universities were also big on translation, having successfully translated into Latin guys like Aristotle and Plato, which effectively made the Renaissance possible. All of this despite the fact that beer bong technology was still in its infancy.

Around the same time as universities were popping up all over Europe, the Crusades were bringing Europeans into contact with advanced Muslim ideas of science and technology. Ideas like the compass and the astrolabe came to the West via Muslim Spain and came in handy during the later Age of Exploration. Italian merchants came back from trading in North Africa and gave us another innovation: Arabic numerals.

Sju
Pfft, like people are going to want to learn a whole other set of characters.

Medicine also made massive advances thanks to the university system. Contrary to popular belief, dissection of corpses was actually fine and dandy with the church, and medieval universities often did it in the basement (OK, so maybe it wasn't totally fine and dandy). By the 14th century, there were functional hospitals, and doctors had learned how to use antiseptic when lopping off people's body parts.

And that's a good thing, because everybody was encrusted in filth back then, right? Well, about that ...

#5. Everyone Smelled Like Complete Shit

Getty

The Myth:

Even if we know nothing else about the Middle Ages, we know that everyone was absolutely filthy. Medieval peasants looked like something straight out of Monty Python and the Holy Grail ...

Getty
But not nearly as whimsical.

... and the upper classes were hardly any cleaner. People back then took baths with about the same frequency as we go to the dentist -- a couple of times a year for the obsessive ones. Just getting to a person's genitals required a stiff wire brush and a chisel.

The Reality:

They were way into bathing for much of the Middle Ages. Maybe too into it -- they continued the Roman practice where a bunch of strangers got naked together for communal bathing, and most towns and even villages in medieval Germany had a communal bath where craftsmen would hang out and bathe together after a hard day's work. Just sitting there, probably washing each other's dongs while having loud conversations about how incredibly not gay they were.

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"You see my new pickup wagon with a bunch of tools in the back?"

Meanwhile, not only was it common for medieval folk to wash their hands before and after eating, it was also customary to offer to bathe with guests when they entered your home, something The Man has repeatedly reminded us is no longer acceptable in modern society. Medieval demand for soap (usually made from animal fats, with a variety of oils and salts added) was so great that by the 13th century, soap was being made on an almost industrial scale in Britain, Italy, Spain, and France.

So why do we picture everyone as wallowing in their own filth back then? Well, things changed all at once. If only an act of God could change Europe's epic bathing culture, they got one -- in the mid-14th century, the Black Death strolled up and kicked Europe right in the teeth with its pestilence boot. Suddenly, smart people were telling the previously washed masses that bathing was a surefire way to open your body's pores and invite in all the bad spirits or gremlins or whatever (they weren't too savvy on what caused illness back then).

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"The academy is divided down the middle, between Jews and forest pixies."

As a result, by the early modern period of history, bathing had become obsolete. So it's entirely possible that George Washington rated higher than Richard the Lionheart on the smell-like-shit-o-meter.

#4. Knights Were Honorable, Chivalrous Warriors

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The Myth:

Knights were gallant and brave warriors, charging into battle to slay the dragon and rescue the fair maiden.

The Reality:

Knights often had less in common with this:

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"We shall die for the glory of our randomly assigned piece of land!"

And more in common with this:

Johan Ordonez/NBC News
Wessex side.

Remember, knights were professional warriors, and when there wasn't a war to fight, they had to find something to do with their war-boners. Most of these guys were relatively young and didn't have Call of Duty to satisfy their violent urges, so they tended to take it out on the local population. Toward the 11th century, many of the local lords started bickering over who would get a slice of the Holy Roman pie that Charlemagne baked, and the knights were at the forefront of these petty wars. These "wars" were less Braveheart-style epic battles and more knights rolling up into villages and slaughtering everybody.

The church tried to curb these conflicts, because frankly, they were nasty and threatened the stability of everything. First they tried to gather up all the knights and shake various body parts of dead saints at them, but when that didn't work, the Pope called the First Crusade and exported all these assholes to the Middle East, where they chivalrously ate babies and massacred the entire population of Jerusalem.

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"Hey, the Pope said we wouldn't go to hell! No backsies!"

Later attempts were made to get these young 'uns under control, one being the chivalric code that was adopted around the 13th century. Examples like Sir Lancelot and Edward the Black Prince were raised to show knights how to behave in battle and in peace. Knights were encouraged to "defend the weak," but "the weak" was commonly interpreted as noble women and children, not peasants. So noble-on-noble violence may have decreased, but it was still totally cool for knights to kill and rape peasants, since, like those beers you had for breakfast, they didn't really count.

#3. Everyone Was a Prude

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The Myth:

Casual sex, and even knowledge of how sex works, is a modern invention. During the heavily religious Dark Ages, sex was strictly forbidden outside of marriage, and every single person of consenting age (a term that was very loosely defined back then) led a life that was a never-ending squelch through a pool of their own sexual repression.

The Reality:

You know those really goofy-looking shoes that men wore back then? The extra pointy ones, like something an elf would wear?

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We'd still wear those over Heelys.

Well, those points are called poulaines, and apparently they were meant to directly represent the wearer's dong. And in a revelation that will come as absolutely no surprise to anyone even remotely familiar with the intricate relationship between a man and his wang, these points were sometimes so big that dudes couldn't walk up stairs. Good thing they were all wearing those elaborate codpieces to protect their actual dongs when their shoe-dongs tripped them up.

And the sexy didn't stop with their fashion. Prostitution was a big friggin' deal back then. Although technically against the teachings of the church, everyone collectively agreed that if there were no hookers around, men would be out raping, just, everyone, because some of what you've heard about the Middle Ages wasn't a myth. In most medieval cities, prostitution was completely legal yet confined to certain districts and licensed by a town's mayor. The church even got in on this deal and licensed some holy brothels of its very own.

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"She'll tickle your schmeckel for only a shekel!"

But let's not leave out the married folk. Since most upper-class marriages were political arrangements and the people getting married didn't necessarily like each other all that much, extramarital affairs were where it was at. And man, did these people get down -- if you've ever watched a show like The Tudors and thought it was all sexed up for a modern audience, you were wrong.

One of the reasons that Eleanor of Aquitaine usurped her husband Henry II was because Henry II apparently had more mistresses than Tiger Woods. Seeing that getting in bed with the king was a good way to get ahead in life, daughters of lower nobility basically became escorts and tried to become the king's favorite mistress, which worked out pretty well for Anne Boleyn when she married Henry VIII and became Queen of England. Worked out pretty well, that is, until she was beheaded for allegedly banging too many people who weren't Henry VIII.

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The Bible is very clear that you're only allowed three affairs at a time.

But the whole situation was still bad news for women, right? Because women were basically property back then? Well ...

#2. Women Were Treated as Cattle

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The Myth:

Europe during the Middle Ages is right up there with Taliban-ruled Afghanistan in the Top 5 Places It Would Suck to Have a Vagina. Women were horribly oppressed and were treated as second-class citizens -- their only responsibilities were to cook, clean, and squeeze out (male) babies on demand.

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"Sweetie? You get that new male heir I asked for? It's been like an hour ..."

The Reality:

Up until about 200 years ago, Europe was a largely agricultural society. And the funny thing about back-breaking and often dehumanizing labor is that it has a weird way of equalizing people -- when literally every member of the family is out busting his or her ass every morning just to fend off the very real threat of starvation, gender roles and sexism suddenly don't seem all that important. Thus, when it came to household responsibilities, women and men were equals by default, since the women had to do all the same bullshit their husbands had to do. So should time travel ever become a thing, never tell a medieval peasant woman to go make her husband a sandwich, because she'll probably cackle her plague-breath all up in your face before snapping you in half like a twig.

And the story wasn't much different in the cities. If dad owned a shop or a tavern, his daughters were the ones helping out. Sometimes a daughter would actually take over the family business and run it herself if her father became unable to, something that wouldn't really happen until much later in modern society. Women also generally ran the taverns in the Middle Ages -- in fact, women once ran England's entire beer industry. It's not quite clear when that changed, but we have to assume that at some point men realized they had allowed women to become all powerful by letting them be in charge of both beer and vaginas.

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"Well, at least we still have sports ... Oh Christ!"

Women who weren't busy running taverns or growing crops to survive could join a convent, which may not sound all that impressive until you realize that this gave them access to education in a time when that was extremely rare -- nuns could read and write in an age when the most powerful kings couldn't. And if they stuck with it long enough to become the abbess of a convent, they were in a position of power very similar to a male lord -- only, you know, maybe even a little higher, seeing as how they technically reported directly to the King of Kings and all.

#1. Life Was Horrible and Everyone Died Young

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The Myth:

Life in the Middle Ages has famously been described as "nasty, brutish, and short." The food sucked, the housing sucked, the work sucked, everything sucked. Luckily, people didn't have to endure all the perpetual suck for long, since they only lived to see 35, tops. Today, if you see a character older than 60 in a movie set in the Middle Ages, he's also a wizard.

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"A wizard dies precisely when he means to. Or when the giant eagles show up late."

The Reality:

As for lives being short, while it may be true that the average life expectancy was 35 years, we tend to overlook one very important word there: average. Infant mortality was brutal, since vaccinations against childhood diseases didn't exist yet and medicine was still in its "Here, chew on this root and stick some leeches on your junk" stage. So that skews the average way down. But if a male living in 1500 managed to see his 21st birthday, he was expected to live around 50 more years from that point.

The typical perception of the medieval peasant is someone breaking his back doing nonstop labor for lords who gaveth not a single fuck as to his well-being, but your typical peasant actually worked around eight hours a day, with long breaks for meals and naps. And did you know that peasants got more time off than you do? Sunday was an automatic day off, and when you factor in long vacations at Christmas, Easter, and midsummer, plus all the saints' days (considering the fact that the Catholic church has even more saints than it does scandals), and medieval peasants were on holiday for a good one-third of the year. And since much of that time was accompanied by epic festivals, they spent it getting shitfaced on various varieties of medieval ale. So not only did they work less than you, they also partied harder.

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"Hey, you guys coming to the after-orgy?"

And it turns out they weren't exactly living lives of "bare bones subsistence," either. By the late Middle Ages, your average English worker was making around $1,000 a year -- significantly better than people in some of today's poorer nations. And while no one will argue that that level of income would provide lifestyles that would inspire rap song lyrics, it did allow them to afford varied diets, the occasional luxury item, and plenty of ale to cover all the partying they were virtually required to do. Hell, you could get a rap song out of that, right? Quick, what rhymes with "dick shoes"?